A change of …

…heart, mind, perspective.  Any of these words would fit my situation.

“One new perception, one fresh thought, one act of surrender, one change of heart, one leap of faith, can change your life forever.”  —Robert Holden

I traveled this week for my school interview, nearly six hours each way and two overnight stays away from home.  The plan was to receive notice of acceptance or denial via the post.  I just found out that I’ve been accepted–this news was received when I called to tell them that I have decided not to attend. Johnny and I had viewed it as a huge sacrifice with greater rewards.  The reality that hit us after my travelling is that there is much greater cost, tangible and intangible, to my going away.  We do not feel the return is worth it.  I can hardly believe it myself, how quickly feelings can change.  This was a dream of mine for the last year.  I could write a volume analyzing and explaining, but I would rather move forward from here, (though I would happily 🙂 respond to any wonderment you may have).  A close friend of mine said ‘the universe will provide regardless of a course’ and I believe it.  It would have opened doors of opportunity, but we will still get there, just through other pathways.

Thank you for all your support and encouragement; it has meant the world to me.  I still believe the best is yet to come!

Melissa Xx

 

30 Comments

  1. Courageous! Courageous to consider a radical change, and courageous to recognise the need to follow the current flow. All we can do is listen …. listen to our hearts, follow what we need to follow, not knowing why, but trusting that in the following we find where we are meant to be, even if it is a re-affirmation that we were on the right course all along. I look forward to ‘walking’ along side you on the next stage ….. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    • Danielle. I really felt the relief last night when I was giving good night hugs. On top of everything else, they are just too young for such a separation.
      I was at a birthday party yesterday and had three requests for the rice salad recipe you gave me soooo many years ago. I told my friends I would post it here–can’t count how many times I have given out that recipe! Thanks again for it, and also for your words of support. Hugs to you and all. Xx Melissa

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  2. Hi Melissa, I was keeping an eye out for this post to see how things turned out for you. It really is amazing how things can shift so quickly…..yet be perfectly clear. I think what struck me the most was that you have proven that The Law of Attraction does work. Maybe a similar learning opportunity is still out there for you, but one which fits with your family. When you were working on attracting this to you, did you also create an image of Johnny and the children being around you, in perfect balance, no sacrifice at all, etc. I’m not saying that the opportunity would be from the same training centre, but sometimes we can’t see how things can arrange themselves to fit our needs. Yet when it arrives and flows together effortlessly, and we wonder how we never thought of that scenario or we didn’t think it was possible….in those moments we can also have clarity and amazement over what we attracted.
    Be well and enjoy your weekend!
    Stan

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    • Stan, More than a couple jaws dropped when I told them I wasn’t going. It was perfectly, without a doubt, clear to me though, no stress or worry or sadness. No, oops, I didn’t envision anything more than myself getting in, very narrowly focused, I was. A surprising number of my friends who supported me going, have said they always believed I already have what I thought I would receive by going away. That’s not to say I don’t have oodles to learn, but what a treasure-trove of amazingness I am surrounded with…all knowing I needed to make this discovery on my own, in my own time. And have you read the comments here? I am floored by the wisdom and understanding shown to me–from day 1 of my blogging I sensed I was attracting and attracted to the people who were most in harmony with me and my universe. And new opportunities are already presenting themselves, could you imagine? I am a very content girl and ready for whatever’s coming my way.
      Thank you. I was really looking forward to your response…I always love our chats. You too enjoy the rest of this weekend. Melissa

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Blessings and good wishes to you on your new path , you are so right to move forward now that the decision is made and new and better paths will I am certain open up for you, this is exciting as you have listened to your heart and the heart loves that so will reward in abundance , happy days dear friend. Kathy xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ruth says:

    I firmly believe that the path we are meant to be on we will be given ways to be on it. Should you need to be on this path a different and more workable path will appear sometimes we have to take a journey round to get to where we are meant to be.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Yes! So relieved I didn’t cling to something that was purely meant to make me aware of what is right in front of me and then lead me in another direction. I can be stubborn like that, but this time was just so different. I’m feeling so optimistic!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. The universe absolutely does send us on the journey of where we’re meant to be. I know for a fact that there were times that I lived my life with regrets about what I “should” have done, until I realized that I did everything that I was meant to do and I ended up exactly where I was meant to be and where I wanted to be. Always trust your gut instincts because they’re always right.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank goodness for those instincts. I am feeling so relieved and even believe that it possibly happened this way for a reason–like maybe I didn’t just change my mind to avoid a mistake. For some reason (not entirely clear to me yet) I was meant to want, reverse that thinking, and be exactly here, now…that’s what my gut is telling me.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Not usual for me, this decision was very clear, almost all of a sudden like. And it was my heart that spoke to me, because my head was convincing myself that I was doing this for all the right reasons. Then all the real right reasons hit me like a lightening bolt. In an instant I was aware that the complete opposite of what I thought was true…in a nutshell, that going away, sacrificing, was to help my family, when in fact, it would really hurt them. It wouldn’t have been devastating, but what a relief to cop on before rather than during!! Phew, dodged the bullet.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. So often our lives take unexpected turns, and it is only later that we realize that the thing that we thought we wanted, that we may have grieved over when it didn’t occur, was not the right thing after all and that we are lucky that we followed a different path. That you are relieved and united with Johnny in the decision speaks to its rightness. Good luck!

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  7. Anonymous says:

    Hi Melissa, my gigs ran out and I have been off line. ❤️
    I was trying to be supportive when I said the kids and Johnny would manage….. But in my heart I was thinking … Don’t do this Meliassa, I talked to Phil about your interview, I even hoped you would fail which I felt bad about too. We both said about this huge learning curve that we clamber over, slide back and fumble onward.. JUST DO IT!!!
    This is not a conclusion that we have come to lightly. We are in our sixties and we moved from boats onto a field of grass five yrs ago. We are now producing more than enough to feed us and you will too. I am so pleased you were accepted and wow! What a decision to decline! Well done my girl! You will not regret it, you have all the skills you need and you’re beautiful family need you. 💛💙💜💚❤️💗💓💕💖💞 Roz and Phil

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh Roz, I so appreciate your being honest. Do not feel badly for one minute. Sometimes those who care about us can see clearer than we who are in the situation. The further I get from my decision, the more I think it is an experience I needed in order to change my perspective on how we are doing what we are doing, planning more immediate now rather than long term. True friends are the ones you can count on to tell you the hard truths, but, that said, they are also wise enough to know when someone they care about has to learn something in their own time and have their own experience (or is that parenthood? 😉 ). Big hugs to you and Phil for caring. Xx Melissa ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. solrencoret says:

    Hi Melissa,

    There is courage in taking on new challenges but also courage in walking away. Sometimes it makes no sense to anyone but you, but your soul feels lighter just by saying your decision out loud. I am sure there is much more exciting things to come your way, this just wasn’t one of them. Good luck with everything and much love to you,

    Sol

    Like

  9. Pingback: Writing 201– Poetry Day 2: Combine ‘Journey, Limerick, Alliteration’ & Other Works In Progress | The Aran Artisan

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